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Humanity has never seen what lies at the core of the Earth, and although there has been much academic and cinematic speculation on what is down there several thousand kilometres beneath our feet, no one can really say for certain what it is like.

The presence of a magnetic field indicates a rotating iron core – but really? Is it actually a ball of glistening ferrous metal, or is at actually an enormous ball of mackerel pate that has been magnetised by forces unknown.

While questions of this nature were being pondered by the smart people of the world – and the pate theory wasn’t taken seriously by many – or indeed any – recognised scientists.

One day, a very powerful alien spaceship was cruising in the vicinity of the Solar System, when they intercepted a transmission of a highly speculative fictional film the plot of which was centred around the nature of the Earth’s core, and what might have happened if it stopped rotating.

When the aliens had stopped laughing in their extra-terrestrial way, they thought it would be highly helpful for them to demonstrate the actual structure of the inner workings of Earth to its inhabitants, just so they’d know what to do in the event of a real emergency.

So, in their infinitely powerful space time curving megacraft, they turned on their quantum displacement beams – carefully calibrated to operate at a frequency that would cause no damage to all inhabitants of the planet – and watched their handiwork unfold.

Space curved. Space bent. Space turned in on itself and vomited itself back up.

One minute the Earth’s surface faced out towards the effectively infinite universe, and all its inhabitants gazed up on blue skies or a velvet black glittered with stars. Now, they were at earth’s centre, facing each other over a tiny area, their cities piled up on one and another, the seas sloshing round like a swirling glass of brandy, their air at such a pressure their eardrums burst and their eyeballs telescoped.

Meanwhile the scorching core of solid iron glowed out across the universe, and the crew of aliens set off home.

“What a great job we did there” they said, slapping each other on their three shoulders.


Copyright Mulberry Lightning 13.02.18